Saturday, October 07, 2006

This morning was different.
I cried.
In the face of hatred, how do you best demonstrate love?
In the face of language barriers, how do you best demonstrate love?
In the face of the previous two, how do you best become useful in the name of love?
In the face of Christ, how can I allow language and hatred to hinder me?
Why do I feel I need other supports? other contacts to make things happen?
Shouldn't the support of Christ be enough?

Within the five days here we have been called hateful names by a few; greeted, welcomed, and kissed my many more; learned the arabic alaphabet and are able to read with time; are learning few by few words; and are learning how to best make use of our time here. At times it presents to be never ending, other times I recognize promise and hope.

God has been gracious, but my heart is not settled. Why can I not find peace here yet? My fear is that it's not because of the place or those who live here but because of my own self and all that I allow myself to think, whether it be logical or illogical.

We are both getting better physically. Yet, I long to be useful once again. It's difficult to feel useful when you cannot speak the language to figure out of what use you can be.

This year is going to be a difficult one.
- Jess

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I weep with you. When I got to Mexico. I was so frusterated by the language barrier. I asked God why I was even there, thinking I could be used better at home where people could at least hear my testimony. I prayed and sought the Lord dilligently. By the end of three weeks in Mexico God had allowed me to pick up enough Spanish to tell my testimony and I was leading people to Christ. God is with you and will not leave you or foresake you. I am praying for you.
-Mark Weaver