Homes.

This morning as I stood alongside the off-white kitchen counter at my new in-laws I glanced over at the refrigerator and began scanning what was posted, shared, written and appointmented. A minute into scanning I realized that I could read what was around me. I could understand what was being communicated. On this large white cold container, I could read what was being said! It has been so long since this was the case! I could understand the form of communication running back and forth between what was written, what my eyes were reading and what my mind was able to understand and comprehend.

Although it may seem that what impacted me the most through these few moments of realization was that I was not in a different country and could understand the language, what really impacted me the most during those moments was the realization that I was standing in front of arefrigerator, full of food, in a house, with a beautiful yard surrounded by blackberry bushes and green grass. Although like millions of Americans, a modest home full of love - I can't help but continue to struggle with the necessity of it all and how different this is from the reat of the world.

You see, this is a struggle I have been wrestling with for some time now. What is a "home"? What is necessary for a "home"? What makes a "home" comfortable? Why are "our" homes so much different than what a majority of the world considers a "home"?

Some may call these "cultural shock" questions I'm sure. But I must share with you, these are questions I have had for a number of years now. Through my transitions of sharing and outfitting an apartment in Fairfax to my time in Mission Year Chicago, up into this year of nothingness but the backpack on our backs; questions of what make a
"home" have continued to linger in our minds. All the while, hoping that God will remain faithful in teaching us and sharing with us what type of "home" He desires.

Does God desire a home with all the amenities that contribute to commercial convenience or would He rather live in a mud hut with only rugs to sit on and one gas stove burner to cook on like the nuns of Tattiwin, Morocco? Would He prefer a home filled with clothes and toys, furniture and space or would He rather "have" (if Jesus "had") three sets of clothing to wear like Mother Theresa, old boxes and tall trees to play in like the kids living on the streets of Delhi, dirt floors with worn in carpets to sit on like the tribal families of Northern Thailand, and a small space to share in the lives of others with like most comunities we have been fotunate enough to share time with?

I'm really struggling with this, because truly - I enjoy soft beds, comfortable couches to stretch out on, pools to swim in, computers to write on, ovens to bake
in, pantries to store food in, cold soy milk to drink each morning and green yards to dance in. And to be honest, I must confess, I am a bit nervous about posting this struggle of mine with fear of alienating and/or hurting those who have offered us thier home and these same very things each time we step into their homes. We are beyond grateful for what you have given, and continue to give to us all in the name of love. my intention is not to hurt you or sound ungrateful, but to ask of your forgiveness if I have offended you as I work and struggle with you through these questions and confusions of life.

I am sorry because I understand, I am here with you. I enjoy these same things, but a sense of "different" conviction is slowly making it's way into the core of my being and making me feel more uncomfortable as time progresses. So maybe it is cultural shock, but right now it feels like cultural conviction. Conviction of what is truly necessary in life to loving others and serving God.

Until I figure this out (yeah, right...)then I will continue practicing intentional thanks to God for being able to read what is posted, shared, written and appointmented on the refrigerator that holds and keeps cool the soy milk we drink each morning. Simply because it delights me and I believe this gratitude and joy pleases God as well.

For all of you who are faithful in checking our blog, we're sorry. We know, we have been quite lame in our attempts to up-date on a regular basis over the last month or so, we're sorry.

On that note though: because we now have the luxury of unlimited internet, we will be up-dating throughout this month on a regular basis. Updating you on how we're doing; sharing with you about places we went, people we met, etc. that we have not yet shared with you; amongst other things I'm sure + some additional photos.

For now, we're doing laundry, sorting through photos, accumulated junk and debris, and enjoying our time with friends and family. We're so grateful for this opportunity to do so.

In the meantime, we ask that you continue to think of us as we attempt to make more clear decisions and find a more concrete direction to head in after our time here in the States. Ugh - such changes.

Sorry we have been out of touch. Just no time to update, but no worries, we will be in the US soon... the land of unlimited internet and expensive mass-transit.

Tonight we take off from Bangkok to go enjoy a nice 12 hour lay-over in Korea. From Korea we hop the Pacific to LA where we have less time than we probably need to make the transition to a Southwest flight to Chicago.

Hope everyone is doing well, and we will post some pictures and further stories in a few days.

USA-bound Jake and Jess

shaping rice patties.
pruning orange trees.
picking weeds from ginger fields.
enduring the giggles of Burmese women.
drinking gallons of soy milk.
itching bug bites.
cussing at biting red ants.
laughing with each other without a common language.
delighting in the tastes of Lisu foods.
aching knees.
swollen fingers.
evenings in the hammock.
resting with one another.

jake calls it the farmers life.
i call it delight.

we forgot our camera today.
will up-date later with pictures.

tomorrow we are heading up to Nan.
the 26th we coming back to the States for 1 month.

with much love, gratitude and blessings of peace - thank you.

Burma, VISA, and Phantoms

Just by virtue of being and American citizen (and any one of 36 other nations) and walking through immigration in Thailand, you are granted, for free, a 30 day stay in Thailand. After that period of time you must either 1) leave the country 2) pay a ton of money and renew your VISA in the country or 3) make a run to a border, cross into another nation, and come back to receive a fresh, new 30 day VISA.

Well, option one was not going to work because Jess and I were not willing to leave yet. We still have a lot to do here. Second option was out because what is the point of paying a lot money to stay in a country when there is a third option to cross international borders for hours of fun? Obviously Jess and I chose to border hop, option number three.

But again, we are faced with a decision. There are many ways to border hop. Some take a bus to the border, some pay for a border-run service to drive them in a nice air conditioned van all the way to the border to do all of this without hassles. Well, Jess and I thought, what's the point of doing all that and not having some fun along the way.

Meet Mr. Phantom. Although the Honda Phantom is one of the biggest bikes Honda sells here, it is absolutely tiny by comparison to a typical Harley Davidson or other bike of similar design. The engine is only 200 c.c., which is about 1/8 the size of my car engine, and 1/4 the size of most "cruiser" style bikes today. But you know what? After 10 months of not driving or driving only 100 c.c. scooters, it felt pretty dang nice to drive something a little bigger.

So Jess and I suited up in helmets, goggles, long sleeve shirts, and lots of sunscreen for a 260 km (161 mile) one-way drive up North to the Golden Triangle to cross into Myanmar (Burma) for an afternoon and a new VISA upon our return to Thailand.

Well, we are alive and it worked, but not without the hitches that normally make average trips into giant-fish-stories. The way up we took the highway and it was uneventful, but the way back we took a long detour to go through the mountain roads and get off the main drags. There was one rain storm that drenched us, 5 or 6 sections of the high way had been covered in land slides or had washed away, we ran out of gas once (I had to switch to the emergency reserve in the tank), we drove through a dry lightening storm, and witnessed an amazing sunset.

Specs.

• 563 km total (349 miles)
• 17.5 liters of petrol (4.6 gallons)
• 32 km/liter (75.6 mpg)
• 14 hours total time
• 6 cartons of soy milk
• 2 sore butts
• 4 burned legs
• 1 case of reverse-motion sickness
  

All in all, it was pretty awesome, and we, though in pain today, consider our trip very worthwhile, and would contemplate doing it again... given a week or so off of our numb lower halves.

We are not certain of the existence of an internet connection where we are spending the next 2 weeks working on a farm. If you don't hear from us for a while, don't worry, we will be dirty and happy working in the fields.

Jess is kissing my neck, so I think it is time to go.

one knife

there is something about finding delight once again. i didn't realize how delightful life could be until i slowed down and began to understand and take notice of the surrounding life burying itself deep within my pores.

you see, we have one knife. in the mornings when we arise, we run to the local market for some calcium enriched soy milk, make our way back to the room, wash some mangoes, rambutan, lychee and oranges. we sit together outside on our porch. while one peels and cuts the mangoes the other sits, waits, laughs and enjoys. the one holding the knife who has committed themselves to mango mutilation pokes piece by piece and we feed eachother. i know that sounds silly, but i wonder what life would be like if we had two knives and were able to peel, cut and eat our mangoes independently.

after five months of hibernation we brought out our mini-ipod that my dad gave us as a going away gift (a free promo gift he received from krogers). yesterday we laid in bed together, listening to damien jurado, love drug, U2, neutral milk hotel, etc. together. with one ear phone in my left ear and the other in his left we shared our afternoon together, sang together, danced together (although this took some tricky agility) and smiled. i wonder what life would have been like yesterday afternoon if we had a t.v. to watch or even two ipods to listen to.

we have one small room that is matted with tiles from ceiling to floor. much different from a "western" bathroom, everything is open. there are no walls or curtains to separate the toilet from the sink or the shower. all is open. well, the lice are still taking up residence in my (now blond - different story) hair. truth be told, i let it go for too long without maintenance and the babies got bigger and the bigger laid eggs and the eggs became babies and the cycle continued. well, three nights ago as i was taking a shower i decided something needed to be done about it. at that time jake came in and i shared with him my bug issues. together, no separated by walls or curtains we pulled out our only comb and began the process. i then took the lice killer comb and followed his tracks picking those heathens out one by one. with two combs we stood in our open bathroom for an hour picking bugs out of my hair and being amazed at how many and how big they are. i wonder how that night would have been had we had walls and curtains to separate us from what we were doing/trying to do.

most days we are without an engine-run mode of transportation (unlike today we which rented a 125 honda and toke a ride up into the mountains to hike throughout the waterfalls, yeah.) therefore, our primary way of going from one place to another is on foot. the days when we rent a bike there is always a part of me that misses walking. passing by hundreds of food and junk carts at a time with jake's right index finder interlaced in my left hand pinkie. we talk (with feeble results) with various vendors, pet hedgehogs and rabbits, play with little children and discover spider-webs and flowers. i sometimes wonder what life would be like if we had a car to take us everywhere we thought we wanted to go and missed all the discoveries woven throughout the side streets, alleys and people along the way.

we have one knife right now. it brings me delight.

Northern Thailand Travels
Mae Salong, a small village found in the northern providence of Chaing Rai. What you see here is what you get: mountains, a one road small town founded by the Chinese in the 60's after they were thrown out of Burma after fleeing China. A small town primarily founded on opium trade, it wasn't until the mid-80's that Thailand began to recognize it as it's own city and began to invest in it by providing alternative sources of income, bringing in tourism among many other hosts of things. I on the other hand, hope that things never change - it's breathtaking.

So, for part of our tri pwe rented a Honda Wave 100 to cruise along the hills of Northern Thailand (and cruising was exactly what we did with both laughter and tears - from both ourselves and the engine). With a much needed road-side stop (for our butts as well as our engine) I accidently ran through a bush of thorns with my feet and found no less than 50 thorms stuck in, through and between my toes... it hurt like a mother.

Our Honda Wave 100 after one of it's feats of climbing up and down muddy hills while towing aprox. 300 lbs. of weight on it's back.

Although it may look super-imposed, the green was just as green pictured here as it was in person...

One of our night drives together...

Our way "home" the next morning as the dew was rising, the clouds were begining their dance to the heavens and the roads were carrying us away.

And then there was the Sunday night market. With this just ebing one of many roads, alley's and side streets filled with entertainment, music, food, crafts, pictures and the list could go on and on - our night last night was one of walking, laughing, eatting and being amazed at how such a simple town can turn into a fancy night festival once every week.

Chaing Mai at a glance...

Our first morning in Chaing Mai we were walking around trying to find a cheap nice place to stay during our time here and low and behold, we ran into a parade of ants carrying their manna for the next month... this was our second scorpion sighting to soon be followed by our most recent cobra sighting (which we did not capture on camera p.s.)

And then there was Bud's... our little treat for ourselves... branched out of San Fransciso Bud's has taken on the hearts of many in Chaing Mai, including Jake and I. What cannot be fixed with a hot chocolate sundae and a green tea/strawberry ice cream taco... delight.


Our view from our fourth floor suite. Some may call it a one room shack. But to us, it's perfect. With a view like this, how can it not be.


So, for the past week Jake and I have spent our time traveling with Derek and Niti around Northern Thailand, spending a majority of our time with Niti's immediate and extended family (all of the Akha tribe). Although we enjoy shopping for our food, even more so we have learned to enjoy hunting and gathering for our food. Although we were treated as honored guests during our entire time, there is something contagious about gathering up leaves, mushrooms, fruits and vegetables as we walked the hills. There is something freeing and tenacious about searching out for worms, stringing them and going after fish with a stick. On a side note though - Jake and I are rookies. By the end of our time, we hadn't independtly caught any fish, I found one mushroom and while Jake did our laundry one evening I went out and had a lesson on gathering leaves and herbs (which I could barely identify on my own by the end of my lesson). This picture is of Niti's mom, being the pro that she is.

It's been awhile...

So I thought I would take this opportunity to share with you a couple of things I've/We've been struggling though over this past week.

Thailand (Chaing Mai) is beautiful, convienent, conventional and simply refreshing. It's not India. It's not Morocco. It's different.

To say that there are no poor people here is a statement I would like to make after four days of being here and not being hit-up by any beggers or seeing men, women and children sleep out in the streets, sidewalks and parks. Yet, that statement is not necessarily all true. After talking to a local social worker and some friends of ours who grew up here/live here, my assumptions though have proven to be pretty much substantiated.

There are those here who live in "poor" conditions, but to live on the street in a "destitute" poverty is an unknown, unseen. There is not "hunger" here as we experienced in India or Morocco. It was shared with us that is beacause Thailand is fertile ground, filled with fruits and vegetables, pulses and livestock. No one goes hungary. The government is run "well," in that medical needs are cared for, kids go to school, most adults are self-employed/employed by bigger business. It's an overall "functioning" community.

People are kind to us here. Six days in and we have not yet been laughed at, yelled at (well, except for this crazy lady in the night market who screeched at us when we walked away from her table uninterested in her products), made fun of, harassed, mocked, etc. In fact, I didn't even know (after nine months over-seas) how much we were yelled/laughed at, made fun of, harassed, mocked, etc. until all of those daily moments we had become accustomed to had disappeared. People are nice here, like really really nice.

There is fresh air here. It's clean, there aren't piles of trash to step through, urine on the sidewalks to step over (many men in India have not yet mastered the use of a private urinal stall yet and prefer to ofter relieve themselves on the side of the roads, sidewalks, etc. - which I guess there is a reason for when many of the men who do so often don't have toilets at their disposal to use), pollution in the air to clog your nose, lungs, ears and eyes with. It's so beautiful... so very beautiful...

This is where my heart and mind gets confused. I want to be here. I like it here. It's exotic and different while still being familiar and comfortable. It's not India. It's not Morocco. Yet, I love India. I love Morocco. When I think of the experiences I had there I often cannot help but praise God for the mercy he has given us to have been able to live and learn from our neighbors and friends there. And in the midst of looking back at all of the obstacles we encountered while there, I still have nothing short of fond, beautiful, stretching, exciting, joyful memories of our time there. I think there's something to this, for God says that when we choose to enter into "suffering with others" we choose to enter into life and love with him, inside his skin. There is a reason our times in India and Morocco are rembered in our hearts and minds the way they are.

So why do I want to stay here so much? And why do I struggle with wanting to stay here so much? I don't want to cheat God by remaining in a place where we want to be rather than in a place where He may want us to be (although we have no clue where that is right now). We're struggling... Yet, there is a part of me that rejoices in the struggle in order to learn and grow closer in my relationship with my first love as well as with Jake.

I'm kind of at a loss right now I guess you could say.

On that note: We're looking for employment here. We are feeling as though we may need a fiscal year as well as a year of rest and routine. It's a fertile place for Jake to get an English teaching job, yet for a number of reasons, we are running into a couple obstacles, still they are not all set in stone. Please pray for us. A simple request from a simple heart.

Know in the meantime though that we just paid for our first "apartment." It's a one room hotel that has a king sized bed and a balacony that looks out over the beautiful mountains and city of Chaing Mai.

This morning we got up with the sun and ate oranges, mangosteins and peanut butter and jelly snadwiches in bed looking out over the balcony.

Thanks for your love.

Yeah, internet again...

So we had a little time before meeting our friends for breakfast, and thought that we would update the blog a little bit again.

First up, a guessing game. This is an object that we picked up in India. We can tell you that it at one point used to be alive. Now it is your job to guess what it is, what it was, where it came from, and how it came to our possession. Come on, get creative, and give us a story.

Fruit in India is dirt cheap, and amazing. There is nothing like a banana that was allowed to ripen on a tree, instead of being picked green so it can be shipped a few hundred miles just to ripen off the tree on a grocery store shelf.

Due to the awesomeness of the fruit here, we ate a lot. Here we are suckin' on mangoes. Ummmm.....

Now here we are suckin' on watermelon on the back step of our little hotel room at the Salvation Army in Calcutta.


Jessica says, "this one's for you, sisters." We went to what sounded like a really cool museum in Calcutta, and it turned out to be kind of lame (mostly it was a huge showcase for dirty dolls donated from around the world). However, there were two floors of these models depicting Hindu mythology. Each floor had 61 window frames, each one containing models telling a portion of the story.

This one was one of our favorites... sorry it is blurry, I think picture taking was against the rules, so we had to sneak it in as we could.

And here we are in Bangkok. Huge bridge, lots of temples, totally different people, and a totally different culture. Jess and I did not realize how resensitized we had become to bare flesh until we were walking around the streets here. Morocco and India are both very conservative compared to Bangkok, and it has been a long time since we have seen so much cleavage and incredibly short skirts and uncovered flesh. Wow...

In related news, today, for the first time since September, Jessica and I are wearing shorts. Yikes...

Traveling today, post again sometime soon.

Jake

we arrived safely into Bangkok yesterday.
we only have two mins. left on our internet time.
thank you for your prayers and we'll up-date soon.

love us

Pure photos II

Holy crap this was a great movie poster. On the back of many of the busses down south. I have no idea what it is about or what it says, but perhaps either Sumitran or Pavittran could help us out with some translation if they are reading.

With the company of prep boys in tight jeans and a seven year old girl dressed in a sari, Jake and I took a log over-due trek up an amazingly beautiful mountain range in the Nilgiri Hills...

Gnanamanickam family + 2 foreigners

For some reason, I understand her grief when I look at her.









Beautiful enterance into an old colonial British cemetary (which we hopped over the gates to get to and wander throughout)



Well, Biss-ha!

Pure photos

Our chief mode of transportation through the southern portions of the Indian sub-continent. Uncle Shack, if you are reading, this one is for you.




Sunset over the tea plantations and valleys of Tamil Nadu.









Jess and I...













Just being ourselves...

Another picture-less post.

Sorry, I just don't trust the "virus-free" status of these public access computers enough to plug my camera into them.

No pictures but man do we have a lot of stories.

After spending about a week total with the Gnanamanickam family in Coonoor and the NWTWS, we headed back north through a nice little town called Mysore.

That, however, was just a stop on the way to one of India's largest cities, Bangalore. We were only in Bangalore long enough to change railway stations, hit a guy with our rickshaw and get a bite to eat before hopping on the 36 hour train ride to Calcutta.

Yeah, I am not sure if you read that right, but the rickshaw we were riding in actually hit a guy. His shoulder pushed in the frame on the left side of the carriage, his face hit right on the windshield, and he was sent sprawling. By the time I got out of the back seat, blood was pouring out of a split in his scalp that stretched from his eyebrow back and up about 3 inches on his head.

The man looked like he might have been drunk or homeless or both. We tried to help and ensure that he was ok, but after just a few minutes we were pushed back in a rickshaw and whisked away. This is where the conflict comes in. We feel that if he had been of a higher class or caste, more fuss would have been made about retaining the driver, calling the police, calling an ambulance, commandeering another rickshaw to take him to the hospital, etc... But we don't know this. It is just a feeling, and something we have discussed, and something born out of some experiences here.

All that aside, we have now been in Calcutta for about 3 days, and we are finding it much to our liking. The food, ambiance, the poverty, the sights and smells, and the general spirit of the city just feels good to us. It is nice to go somewhere strange and have it feel familiar.

Too many stories, and as you can tell from my writing tonight, I can not articulate well right now. Just know that we are doing well, and we are eagerly anticipating our change to Thailand in just a few days.

Jake and Jess

Global Day for Darfur.

Write a letter.
Make a sassy phone call.
Help take a stand against apathy, inaction, and indifference that is leading to the deaths of thousands upon thousands.

Jake

My lungs feel free...

It's been awhile, we know... but we must share, the access to internet is quite a rarity up here in the hill stations of Southern India, therefore our communication is limited... and another admission = it's been kinda nice...

After a two day, two night train ride south (yes, please! to Indian Railways...) we made our way slowly south into the hill stations of Southern India (pictures to be posted - someday...)

Dancing through the fresh air filled with jasmine and eucalyptus...
Eating fresh picked mangos, papaya, jack fruit, etc...
Exploring our way through the coffee and tea plantations...
Enjoying the most wonderful company and care of the Gnanamanickam family...
Touching green grass...
Climbing tall gnarly trees...
Thinking, praying and working through our time up North...
Anticipating our flight to Thailand on the 7th...

Tasting love, listening to love, watching love, smelling love, and touching love...
Simply enjoying the fruits of being loved and in love...

A short but sweet up-date

We're off... after aprox. four months here at Sewa Ashram Jake and I are moving on. We have been showered with many blessings, challenges, periods of growth, pain, joy, laughter, silence, and just being during our time here. For that we are endlessly grateful.

Today we move on. We will first travel south by train to visit some friends and enjoy whatever else comes our way. Around the beginning of May we will then make our way north to Calcutta, by way of east coast railway and fly off to Bangkok, Thailand on May 7th.

We are looking forward to our time in Thailand as we plan on spending short periods of time with some friends, getting away on a deserted island for a week and WWOOFing our way through various organic farms.

What God's intentions are for us after that... only He knows... but as we are truly learning and experiencing the truth of Him "preparing the way." We are finding that "things" are slowly falling into place, opportunities are opening and the manifestations of His love and presence are more present than ever before.

Please keep in touch and visit our blog often. We anticipate that our time e-mailing will continue to grow shorter and shorter, therefore, time responses to e-mails may grow longer and longer. Please know that we think and often pray for each of you often. Your love, support, time, feedback, concern, interest and hugs are appreciated and acknowledged.

love - Jess (and the cute guy often found beside me)

A fast, multi-faceted post...

For those of you that know Jessica well, you will probably remember your own sense of surprise when I posted pictures of her eating oranges. Yes, Jessica, the great hater of all things orange (except candy corn) is now a lover of oranges. Just this past weekend, before traveling back to Delhi on the bus, she is the one who suggested that we get a kilo or so of oranges for the ride home.

Well, for those of you that fully appreciate that little blurb, I bring a new and shocking revelation. Jessica, under her own will and power, decided to give blood. Yes, she faced down the huge needle and gave a full unit of blood. Of course she scared the crap out of all of the doctors and nurses on duty because of her contorted face and streaming tears, but she ever-so-confidently assured the medical staff that she was "not suffering" and it didn't hurt "too much". In her words, she just "hates needles".

OK, and for everyone else who doesn't know Jessica well enough to laugh at that, you can enjoy the back of the Muesli label that we recently finished. Just keep reading, it gets better and better.

Yes, Cory, we did see the Arabic script, and we were able to read it, though we don't know the meaning of the sounds we were making.

Jake

It's been a week or so...

Some of you have noticed our rather conspicuous absence during the past week. Jess and I thought it was about time to explain our lack of communication.

We have been looking rather in depth at our future, at least the coming year or so, and are trying to reach some decisions. Last week we took a trip out to a Delhi suburb where we spent 2 days being hosted by GrapeCity, a software development firm, as I (Jake) was looking into the possibility of working for them for a year or so. The trip went very well, we were treated exceptionally, the staff were wonderful people, but we are still undecided about the job and how it fits our long-term goals.

We were then back at the Ashram for only one day before we took 3 days out to go visit a new compound that is acting as a boarding school for disabled children. We knew it was not in a big city, but we did not realize what we were getting into. After 8 hours on 5 different buses and another half hour ride in a 4-wheel drive truck, we arrived at ASHADEEP. 30 minutes from the nearest town. No public utilities, no pollution, no cars, surrounded by individual agricultural families and small villages.

As much as I love the work here at Sewa Ashram, I have never felt more instantly at home within an organization as I did when we showed up at Ashadeep. The name Ashadeep is made from two Hindi words, Asha and Deep. Asha means 'hope', and deep is a small clay bowl filled with oil and used as a lantern. Lantern of hope. And they are.

Set on 100 acres of land, Ashadeep hopes to be completely self-sustaining in about 4 years. All of those little brick circles are guarding baby mango trees. Can you imagine what that will be like in a couple of years? They will grow all of their own organic food, produce their own power, pump and filter all their own water, recycle all of their waste, produce their own gas, and do it all for one amazing reason. In a recent survey of 50 surrounding villages to Ashadeep, there were more than 400 disabled children found. Ashadeep is already a boarding facility for nearly 100 children, all disabled, and they hope to act as a boarder for many many more children as well as a school for them and all the surrounding village children. Medical care, rehabilitation, therapy, exercise, school, vocational training, medical education, skills development, everything is included on their compound.

(Jess and I got to learn some Hindi sign language.)
It was incredible. It felt like peace. It felt like hope.
There was passion as well as structure.
There was mentorship as well as vision.
There was compassion but it had healthy boundaries.

Now we are trying to build Ashadeep into our future plans. We truly desire to work with them and help them move forward as well as learn from them and gain tremendous experience. We are just not sure how to do it. Please be thinking of us in the coming weeks and month or so as we have many big decisions to make regarding our future, finances, moving countries, etc...

(He is an artist, but I think he could be a boxer.)
The basic setup is that Jess has to go to Michigan for a wedding, which we can do. But if we both go, we will then need to earn some more money before continuing on. Should we go back to the US, work there, then come back to India? Should I take a job in Thailand or Korea or China for the next year and work/learn there before returning to work in India again? Should we even come back to India?

But even as those questions press us and start to choke us with anxiety, they quickly fall away when we remember why we are here.

Just a day after returning from Ashadeep we spent 2 days in Delhi. One of those days was a meeting with a cool young couple from the US who are living in Delhi and working with street kids. They were just good people, refreshing conversation, and fun companions.

The next day we were able to go and visit the adoption agency / orphanage where Rumi and Reshma were placed after they left the Ashram. They were really doing well. Reshma was eating much better, and had even moved on from just a bottle to spoon feedings. She was plump and healthy looking. Rumi looked very good as well. He had already started walking, was much healthier, but still had his sad little face constantly contorted into a look of fear. I am confident that constant love can pull him out of that state, but it is still hard to see him like that.

Right now I'm sitting in a Steelcase office chair that has adjustable:

1) upper back force
2) back stops (I don't know what this means either)
3) seat height
4) lower back firmness
5) seat edge angle
6) seat depth
7) lumbar height
8) arm rests

and I've never been so physically comfortable but emotionally and mentally confused as I am right now... I'll share more later.

- Jess