tonight's a night i wish i drank alcohol.
like really, really, drank alcohol.
from experience i can tell you it's a strong (& proven) alternative to coping with reality. sometimes alternatives are good options as far as i'm concerned.
sure, i was a drug & alcohol/addiction counselor for 8+ years.
yeah, alcoholism runs in the family.
and still - alcohol and the concept of drinking and the emotions and the feelings, experiences and sensations...
i can't help but want to run into the kitchen, grab me a Mike's Hard Pink Lemonade (i just lost all credibility, didn't i?) and drink my mind & heart into oblivion.
i've never done it before - drink myself into oblivion that is. i guess most things that are unknown (like drinking to forget and really forgetting) are sexy, even when you know the reality and truth behind that actions and have to still work with the consequences long after the forgetting has been forgotten.
tonight i came to the understanding (not for the first time and surely not for the last) that money always equals power (power being of a flexible measurement).
does that mean that when one doesn't have money, they can't have power - oh contrair' - those who don't have money can still have power, it just doesn't get them anywhere.
i think i would like to stick to the middle of the road on this one.
i don't want money - keep it, give it, spend it, invest it. it makes things too complicated.
i also don't want to be a person who feels powerful for the wrong reasons - whether that involves the spending or giving of money.
i don't want to be drunk all the time either.