Friday, September 11, 2009

tonight's a night i wish i drank alcohol.

like really, really, drank alcohol.

from experience i can tell you it's a strong (& proven) alternative to coping with reality. sometimes alternatives are good options as far as i'm concerned.

sure, i was a drug & alcohol/addiction counselor for 8+ years.
yeah, alcoholism runs in the family.
and still - alcohol and the concept of drinking and the emotions and the feelings, experiences and sensations...
i can't help but want to run into the kitchen, grab me a Mike's Hard Pink Lemonade (i just lost all credibility, didn't i?) and drink my mind & heart into oblivion.

i've never done it before - drink myself into oblivion that is. i guess most things that are unknown (like drinking to forget and really forgetting) are sexy, even when you know the reality and truth behind that actions and have to still work with the consequences long after the forgetting has been forgotten.

tonight i came to the understanding (not for the first time and surely not for the last) that money always equals power (power being of a flexible measurement).

always.

does that mean that when one doesn't have money, they can't have power - oh contrair' - those who don't have money can still have power, it just doesn't get them anywhere.

i think i would like to stick to the middle of the road on this one.

i don't want money - keep it, give it, spend it, invest it. it makes things too complicated.
i also don't want to be a person who feels powerful for the wrong reasons - whether that involves the spending or giving of money.

i don't want to be drunk all the time either.

9 comments:

cory said...

can we talk about this soon? i love you.

Rachel said...

I was just talking with a pal about drinking and how it's a tool to deal with reality... sometimes. She's evangelical and more conservative, so we have a few differences, but I liked what she had to say about it.

I like you, too!

Jake and Jess said...

what did she say about it?

Rachel said...

She said that for her it was a moral issue in that getting drunk, for many, is a way that we disconnect from problems and from ourselves as part of God's glorious creation. I think. In that way it was a moral issue for her. Like, relying on alcohol to relieve our problems wasn't right.

I'm not sure that I'm characterizing her point totally.

Her emphasis was on caring for the self rather than abusing the self, and I can side with that.

Jake and Jess said...

yeah - i really agree with her.

a lot.

brian and beth said...

i was just going to say that it was really good for me to watch that journey video. really good. :)

but after reading Rachel's thoughts, I have some too... can't figure out how to write them down right now, though. Maybe it is because these are the first moments of the day in which I haven't had children climbing on me? Do you still have that Mike's Pink in your fridge?

love you.

Jake and Jess said...

i absolutely do! jake's mom bought them for me when we went to their home a month back. she ended up not liking it and gave me the remaining four bottles. i think there are three left. the one missing i drank on my first day without taking drugs after "the accident".

i'll bring one over on friday morning :)

i also really want to hear your thoughts too!

Jon said...

As one who has, I can tell you that the feelings experienced which lead to the drinking till oblivion, are far better than the consequences associated with the drinking. Good to know that you left the Mike's alone.

Jon (Christin's husband)

Jake and Jess said...

jon!

i love you that you labeled yourself as "christin's husband"

i am so neglectful of our friendship. we NEED to make an autumn date for the 4 of us.