i'm not healing.
i thought this awkwardness.
these sudden emotional gardens of fury, loss, grief.
this broken walking stick.
broken wave of essence.
raging self-forgiveness. injustice. fear. God.
this broken swing-set.
i thought this would all be over by now.
yet, i think it's just beginning.
two sundays ago as we were singing in church.
a song of freedom.
i heard jesus tell me i am no longer free.
instead under the burden of
i truly am no longer free.
i am hurt.
i am lost.
most all the time.
i need a healer.
p.s. please read my husband's posting below - it's much more enjoyable and truly needed for your eyes after reading my most udder bankruptcy. although i did in fact make myself laugh using the word "udder" instead of "utter".