some things just don't line up.

it's everywhere.












the food crises in chicago.

mari just called.

she shared the news regarding the death of kaylanie & destiny's dad. she shared that they were taking it hard. she shared that kaylanie is having panic attacks, she had always been close to him since she had a couple years with him preceding his time in prison during the girls early years. destiny is stubborn. she won't show her emotions until she decides it's time. the funeral is on monday.

i can't help but echo some of the same sentiments which my friend beth expressed earlier today: the challenge of continuing to really struggle with all of the pain in this world... i can't really make it all line up.

it never does. except when i'm with you - my spiritual community & support, those who express God & Jesus' love with beauty & grace, peace & fluidity.

Go out into the world in peace.
Have courage.
Hold on to what is good.
Return no one evil for evil.
Strengthen the faint-hearted,
Support the weak,
Help the suffering.
And in all these things
Take courage in the Holy Spirit
Who nourishes and makes us whole.
May the fire of God's blessing
Burn deeply within you and
Shine brightly upon you,
Now and always.

Go in peace.

A Long Week
Ramon Chaparro

I want to give the world a foot massage
“Take a load off,” I’d say
“You’ve had a long week”

I want to buy backpacks for crack babies
Teach them E=mc2
Sing them the theme to Fat Albert
Show them the correct dosage of sugar for kick-ass Kool-Aid
Tell them their mothers’ addictions
Were not predestination, were not bad luck
But just were
And they are free to be
Someone’s solution instead of the symbol
Of someone’s problem

I want to host a banquet
For the orphans of Gaza
The widows of Darfur
Pile the tables high with falafel
And kisra with bamia
Fill glasses with crystal water
Mugs with guhwah, chai, and goat’s milk
Raise a toast to their fallen loved ones
And send them to down-filled beds
For a night of rest
Without the sound of Kalashnikovs
I want to tell them they are no longer refugees
They are Mustafa and Jamilah
And they can call someplace home again

I want to give prosthetics to the war children
Of Kabul and Mazar and Kandahar
Watch them play soccer and basketball
Their new limbs gracefully awkward
Their war dreams lessening in intensity
Their eyes losing their haunted cast
Their steps unfettered by the fear
of land mines in the sand
I want to tell them they are worth more
Than sodomy and poppy seed
That they can write their own history

I want to comfort everyone everywhere
Share and bear their joys and sorrows
Whisper with prophetic imagination
Of a new world with old roots
A melancholy tale with an uplifting end
When he and she, you and me
Can love with reckless abandon
Others more than ourselves

But today, I drive by the man
With his cardboard sign
My windows rolled up against the sunny day
A dollar bill snugly ensconced
In the folds of my wallet
And I sing with Mahalia,
His eye is on the sparrow

i should really be working.

a couple new finds:

global rich list

consumer consequences

the gospel of consumption

quick up-date

the girls biological father was killed yesterday afternoon.
another close neighbor was diagnosed with cancer of the voice box.

there have been lots of sirens have been heard lately. it's summer.

two weeks ago i watched a boy get his arm dismantled by a bus while his friends ran away. shootings present to be a daily occurances while my clients are attending funerals at a record high. both from natural causes (asthma attacks, heart disease, diabetes and cancer as well as a number of various other biological reasons) and environmental causes.

the sirens continue. two weekends ago there were over approximately 30 shooting & close to ten deaths in the city of chicago. one weekend.

the sirens continue. jake was speaking with a friend about the rise in crime & violence. with knowledge and opinion jake wshared his belief that it presents to be that this increase in violence as happening just when the summer is beginning. his friend replied, "i don't know if i buy that. i think it's just that people who are poor are just frustrated."

my client's are dropping out at a rate like i have not experienced thus far. none killed that i know of but two are in jail, two most likely out using, two i put into residential treatment and one has moved out to an outer-city location with a housing program that assists women & children in housing and collateral support. another one of my client's just found out she is positive for Hep C too.

this is only the beginning.

another police car just made their way west on armitage. from a block away their sirens are so loud.

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

- Mary Oliver

p.s. read this

lovely morning.

although varying on the chilly side as the wind picks up speed & another storm front moves in, this morning we brewed some fancy coffee (thanks to Mary & Allison) and found ourselves on the front porch enjoying the blooming flowers, waiting for a friend to come over to borrow Jake's motorcycle helmet & talk with Loni as she heads off to work at McDonalds. which reminds me of the amazing cactus, onion hash browns that we had this morning for breakfast... yum.

they both look thrilled, don't they?

so i've found myself breaching into the "blog realm" of sharing, experiencing, learning and enjoying. often times finding myself entangled within a web of lovely & creative women. every once in awhile someone will hold a drawing, comments are left to be placed in the drawing which is often times conducted by the children within the home. the one chosen from the drawing will in turn receive a gift.

i have never entered into any of these drawing. until now. i've been keeping up with carolyn for some time, her jewelry is stunning & her stories so enjoyable. a couple weeks back she posted a drawing & i couldn't help myself but enter. & we won! who knew! we never win anything... this thursday we received a most delightful & surprising gift.

cuff-links for jake (aren't they handsome!)

i've worn both sets of earring in various different settings & they have drawn more attention than any other piece of jewelry i have worn. as nanette shared last night (a night that both jake & i are so grateful for), "those just look like you." i agree.

fits perfectly. shines like the sun & is simply magnificent.

over the past four weeks we have been getting our weekly groceries through growing power. in an effort to live more simply, more economically & with more intentionally holistically, we have decided to support growing power through their non-committal CSA market basket program. we've received vegetables & fruits we would have never ventured to buy ourselves. the ability to explore more avenues other than the cheap & easy has helped us increase the quality of our lives but also continued to affirm our decision to support others through our daily decisions. this is just one shot of a little watermelon we received last week. this week our surprise: huge mushrooms with heads the size of my entire hand.

with those treats in mind: we're going to hold our own little drawing. leave a message & we'll throw all comments in a basket & announce the winners wednesday evening. does anyone read this thing anymore?