I know, I know, I keep promising to write stories from our past year, and I have not yet done that. I am sorry.

But in the mean time, read one of the best articles I have seen in a while. It is sassy, and it may hurt a bit, but it is completely true (even his figures and stats).

Orphans Vs. American Dream

Excerpts. And I quote:

According to the American Religious Identity Survey, conducted by the City University of New York, there are over 224 million Christians in the United States. So, why are there 115,000 orphans in a country that has over 224 million Christians?

And again:

Let's break this down further. The Washington Times reports that there are about 65 million evangelicals in America. So, again, why are there 115,000 orphans in America's foster care system? Does this mean that there are 65 million people missing huge sections of their Bibles? Would someone please alert Crossway and Zondervan!

Excellent....

Till next time,
Jake

a good magazine.

some good videos.

although, the previous two points of information are both good, this is even better. This afternoon we attended their end of the summer kids program. These children know joy. They know Jesus.

if only they knew the kids next door.

we'll see what we can do.

I know, two posts in one day.

We now have internet and npr keeps our marriage alive. We listen to it all day long - well, kind of.

On that note: We bought these in Thailand, one kilo for $1.

What a crazy world market we take part in.

idealism and reputation

A couple afternoons ago our landlady, Irene, called my cell phone and asked in I could stop by later in the afternoon to talk.

We really like Irene. At the age of, let's estimate, 81 she is a little rough around the edges but soft on the inside. She essentially lives as a shut-in in her own home. She feeds the stray cats meandering outside on our porch and is grateful for the groceries her daughter bring her every Thurs. She can count on it, it's consistent.

When we moved in her only two requests were that we not smoke or not play any of that, "boom, boom, cha-cha" music. We agreed.

The other afternoon after coming home after a long day of job searching, time with neighbors, etc. we found a small paper bag hung on our doorknob full of fresh tomatoes from her backyard.

She insists that if there is anything we ever need, not to touch or do anything ourselves. She wants to be a good home-maker and provide a good home for us. It is her job, she shares. She wants to keep up the house so "we feel at home."

I was a little nervous about this call though. The kids had started coming around more often, yelling up the alleys, calling our names, walking hard on our floors, etc. One day when we were out Irene shared that she had to stick her head out the window and tell them that if they needed us they needed to come to the front door and knock. Neighbors correcting little visitors can never lead to good things.

So I knocked on her door. She often can be found resting on her davenport paralleling her front window. From here she can see and take note of the daily happenings of life. All of that to say, she was within feet of the door when I knocked and offered me no time to collect myself in between "the nervous knock" and the time of entrance into her home (which I secretly hoped wouldn't happen and that by chance at that particular time in space, she wouldn't be available due to her tight schedule of feeding stray cats in the backyard).

Yet, she was there and I was there. She answered the door within seconds. I smiled and entered with the nervous knocking hand at my side.

After small talk of the weather, her tomatoes, flowers, door-bell issues and promises of a "better October" (obviously, according to her, September is going to be just as much of a bust as August apparently), she brought up the anticipating topic of conversation - the children.

She first asked if I knew of the reputation of the children, their parents, the drugs, yelling, prison terms, etc.

I said yes.

She asked if I knew the police were keeping a watch and eye on their apartment, known as a central drug-trading space.

I said yes.

She asked if I cared at all about my reputation in the community.

I said yes (I'll explain in a minute).

She asked if I thought it is a good idea to be involved with "that" family.

I said yes and this is why.

I shared with her that we do care about our reputation in the community. We want our home, both physically and spiritually, to be a home of peace, safety and rest where others, regardless of age, race, or belief feel welcome. We don't want known and unknown friends to see our relationship with "the others" as a threat (although we know this will happen intendedly and will unfortunately have to deal with the unintended consequences). We're careful still. We moderate the time spent in their home and am careful to hang-out where others can see me. Still, Kaylanie, Destiny, Jermaine, Ethan & Jeremy are His Beloved and there is still time... They're not "gangstas," yet. They're not beyond approach, yet. They're not lost, yet. There is still time.

I shared all this with her.

She smiled and tolerated my idealism.

I think she things I'm crazy.

I think I'm crazy too sometimes.

My brain hurts from performing the tedious task of job-searching online. I have just two photos and no stories for you. These two images represent the rather intense floral patters that inundate our lives as they make up the majority of the flooring in our new apartment.

Not only does the job search hurt my mind, but so does the floral print.

Not surprisingly, Jess loves the floors (along with our pink and peach colored walls).

My Christmas wish is for an area rug...

and a job.














*
What's funny is that we both obliviously had enough of this job searching so much that at the same exact time we glanced over at each other's screen only to see one another up-dating our long-lost blog...

This is what my mind was focused on over the past hour+:
*
anti-glam

I remember the days when I would run the sink on low during the time on was on the toilet so Jake wouldn't hear me if I accidentally "squirted." There were also times when I would use the bathroom as quickly as possible as to not lead Jake on to think that I had some strange bowel issues that would lead me to spend hours on the toilet.

Today (well, actually before today really - but I was just thinking of it today) I grabbed the Sunday newspaper, went in on the toilet and accidentally "squirted" with the door cracked open and no water running to disguise the sounds...

How life changes...

Speaking of which - today we started the job search. Please pray for our sanity and ability to produce and submit quality work, resumes and CVs. That would be a fabulous gift...
*
yeah...

We're sorry. We have been negligent in writing to/for all of you, both here and through e-mails.

Keeping time with friends and family, anticipating moving to Chicago tomorrow/the day after. Hoping that a month (with God's mercy - hopefully less) of unemployment will offer us some down time to get in contact with each of you once again, both here and individually.

Here are a couple pictures of our time with my family, minus pictures of the many times we have gone kayaking down the Chippewa (camera + kayak = bad business) plus ones of our entire family + bride & groom. Welcome Shaun.

P.S. Sorry some of them are sideways... just think of this as a levator scapulae exercise.

The first week we were home we spent time up at our parent's cabin visiting family & relaxing... except during our walk down Ludington Beach where we fought six miles (although dad swears 10) against this fierce and tenacious wind, which, by the way, was trying to take up the lice's job and make rat nests in our hair.

For those of you who know my dad: after 34 years with Kroger, he has decided to retire and has been officially off Kroger payroll since late-June. When all of us girls + hubs. were home we decided to thrown him a small little retirement breakfast. Tonight when we were looking through photos and talking about his surprise he shared, "I got a little choked up." How grateful we all are for him.

Two hours following dad's retirement party we threw a surprise graduation party for Allison. Upon arriving home she shared that two things she would like were a pair of tweezers (for who knows what) and a head lamp (for delivering babies in the dark). Jake, having a soft spot in his heart for both Al & flashlights delivered and surprised Allison with her first baby catching light.

Our family (from L to R) Allison, Sarah & Gil, Mom & Dad, Shaun & Mary + Us.








Shaun's wedding day surprise for Mary = yes, you know it, you're looking at it. Wow is right.





This is only a 3rd (or maybe less) of what was made for this celebration. Don't worry though, Jake is taking good care of the left-overs. Has anyone ever made Aussie Bites? Worthy recipe.

Again, we look forward to hearing each of your voices and/or reading your voice over mail and/or e-mail. We also simply would like to thank our parents for all that they have given us over this past month. Thank you for the lunch money, letting us borrow your cars, time spent in the pool and floating down the river, pizza and most of all for the love you extended to us during this time of transitions. We appreciate you all.

love us

P.S. We also became god-parents again this last week for Amelia Rene. Pictures are on another computer and therefore, will have to wait for another day... how beautiful new birth, both physically and spiritually, is.

Following The Wind

Jess and I just spent a great few days with her family on the West coast of Northern Michigan. One evening we sat down on the shore watching the rather strong wind wreak havoc on the dune flora and coastal trees. It was sunset and while the clouds turned brilliant shades of pastel, the waters faded to deep charcoal blues and greens. I think both of us sat immobile, perhaps transfixed, but definitely deep in thought. I have no idea what Jess was thinking, but I was contemplating a very old question.

Where is the wind going? Where has it been?

That question has been asked countless ways by poets, philosophers, children, scientists, etc. They are searching for beauty, meaning, understanding, and general knowledge. I ask because I feel like this whole past year, and slightly more, Jess and I have been following trails of soft clues blowing in the wind. From meeting one another to getting married; from driving around the US to see loved ones and our great natural abundance to traveling over 4 continents and 8 countries; from working with the destitute in deplorable situations to celebrating with friends in lush paradise-like situations, through all of this Jess and I had no solid plans or itineraries, we just sniffed out the clues from the air, tried to follow the spirit of our hearts, and do life the best we could in our circumstances.

Well, here we are, at the threshold of the one year anniversary of our marriage trying to feel out the wind once again. The three weeks we have had since returning to the US have been, in part, relaxing, but mostly challenging. It is a difficult thing to take eyes and hearts trained for what life is like in Morocco, India, and Thailand, and throw them right back into the US. There are going to be set-backs, heartaches, and probably some headaches. Pile on top of that the need to make decision about the coming year or two and the stress will quite literally make you feel crazy sometimes.

But all that aside, listening, sniffing, and feeling the best we could, Jess and I have reached a decision about our coming year. We have canceled our return tickets to Thailand where I had a good job offer waiting. We decided for the long-term visions and dreams that we have, that was not a good step for us at this time. We have instead decided to move back to the old neighborhood where Jessica lived for a year during her time in Chicago with the inner city ministry organization, Mission Year.

We have an apartment and we are getting my (amazing) old Civic back from the friend who used it for the year we were gone. We are gathering our better clothes, rewriting our resumes, and are headed to Chicago with a purpose. We don't just want Chicago because it is kind of close to home or has good job opportunities or fun stuff to do on the weekends. That stuff is fine, but one thing that this year has shown us is the dire need to be very intentional about our time and efforts.

We are choosing to live in a "bad" part of town because the kids that Jessica knew 3 years ago are still there, they never got to leave. We want to go back, to be with them, and to meet more. We will be living with a wonderful old woman who is now pretty much a shut-in.

Well, we now know where the wind has come from. We can see where we have been together and how we got there. The trick is you just never know where the wind is going. We are doing our best to follow. Right now that is leading us to Chicago.

Jess and I plan on continuing to post here on dirtytoes, so stay tuned. I am sure we will have plenty to write about in coming weeks and months. As for those stories I promised you last post, they are coming too.

Love,
Us

Map-a-licious

There are a number of amazing happenings that Jess and I just never had the chance to write about on this public domain. Sometimes that was due to a lack of computer, a lack of internet, or just a lack of proper motivation. Some time over the next couple of weeks we hope to begin looking through our photos from this past year, recalling stories, and posting them for everyone to read. But until then...

Enjoy our travel map. You can see the key in the upper left-hand corner, but basically red lines designate travel done by airplane, yellow lines show train travel, green lines are personal automobile, and blue is travel done by public bus.

Click to enlarge the map.





P.S. I forgot to draw our last flight from LA to Chicago, and I don't really feel like finishing it now. Just imagine a nice red arc from southern CA to Lake Michigan, and it will all be complete.

P.P.S. Notice how little of the world we actually were in. Pretty humbling.

P.P.P.S. There is lavender massage oil awaiting us upstairs. Gotta go.

One of the many "dichotomies" which I have recently struggled with throughout this past year is large commercial "christian" (not capitalized and in quotes for a reason) music. How honoring it is to Christ to sell millions of albums of music which should be free for ALL the nations to hear regardless of income, language or ethnicity? How much money is spent on christian albums that might better be used for alternative givings? How much time and energies go into preparing, conducting and attending christian music concerts that is stealing time away from us which would be better spent loving our neighbors?

Although I understand that there can and often are a number of most wonderful experiences to come from commercially mass-produced music, I am not quite sure I support it anymore as an industry. I don't know. The reasons are a bit too much to discuss right now BUT the reason I wanted to bring this up at this moment is because at this time I am completely going against what I am coming to believe and suggesting that you kindly watch this video.

During such a time as this...

Thank you Robin.

Note from Dad:

After reading our most recent entry I received this e-mail from my dad and thought it served well as a reminder of how Wal-Mart affects some of our neighbors:

"Jessie Wessie (that's what he calls me),

Mom was showing me your blog, which was nice, but if you do not know it I will tell you we boycott walmart unless we are desperate. He (Wal-Mart) took a third of my business away from the store when he opened up the new one in back of my store, about 30 people lost their jobs at kroger and over a hundred at the meijers. Just to make you smarter,I will give you these facts. He is the worlds largest employer, in which the average employee makes $14,000 a year,and the poverty level in the usa is at $19,000. You have no insurance if you work their unless you have at least 4 years of employment and then you must pay a portion.I will lecture you when you come home.

Love ya Dad"

His facts are correct, and so is his heart. Wal-Mart creates poverty.

I understand the benefits of Wal-Mart as well though. In fact it was just this past week when I spent some time with Grandma in Chicago that she shared that she loves the newly opened Wal-Mart. It is a perfect fit for her limited income and in one trip she can get everything she needs vs. trasping around the city all day to gather what is on her list.

Great, another dichotomy of life to work through.

Ads, TVs, Cereals & Shampoos

I'm sure that you can chalk this one up to cultural shock, but I'm going to pretend that it's not and attribute my thoughts (sorry Rene, I can't stop this whole thinking pattern I have established) to my attempts to make sense of things and learning to establish new ways of living.

It all started with the opening of the Sunday Morning paper and encountering the specific and familiar smell of ad's. Sunday morning ad's. I remember as a kid my sister's and I would sit outside on our screened in porch facing the old barn/garage and clip coupons for my mom from these ad's. Ad's for lunch meat, cheese, dressings, shampoos & soaps, detergent & toothpaste. So many coupons. So many ads from Kroger to Meijer, Target to Wal-Mart, Best Buy to Staples. So many ads for so much stuff.

My friend Erin wrote on her blog recently about her introduction back home (Australia) and the shock of walking through the isle's of a local supermarket and being given such a large selection of mayonnaise. Like Erin, I have been overwhelmed with the mass number of selections available for anything I could ever possibly want and/or need.

In search of a GPS for a friend living overseas we found our way to the electronics section of Wal-Mart yesterday to ask if they sold any hand-held simple GPS units. As we made our way toward the back of the store I was overcome with the number of DVDs for sale, radios to choose from & CDs released. What really stuck me though was the number of TVs. I think I was immune to this circus of parading images surrounding me every time I went shopping before. But for some reason, now it's different. No wonder we're now in an age of limited attention spans. TVs of all shapes, sizes, depths and pixels are available everywhere and scream from up above (at least in Wal-Mart) for my attention. Without even noticing I found myself standing still, eyes pasted until Jake came back from talking with a customer assistant and told me they only sold car GPS units (yes, they are of coarse completely different items - like Cheerios are to Toasted Oats!) and we left.


Speaking of cereals, as we were heading out of Target (still looking for those darn hand held GPSs) I made the mistake of carrying myself down the cereal isle (crap - was that Target of Wal-Mart, I can't remember), and I do mean "carry" because that's exactly what Jake had to do to me as I became overwhelmed with the vast number of selections available for our favorite (well, my favorite) breakfast meal. Strawberry Mini-Wheats! Who knew? I couldn't help but long for the days in India where porridge was our morning cereal selection and bananas were the only topping available. Sure, Jake and I both dreamed at times of sprinkling blueberries on our porridge, but we were always grateful and deeply enjoyed the bananas. Really, how many selections of cereal are necessary and how uncomfortable and/or angry would I get if "they" (whoever "they" are) decided that only 20 particular cereals were necessary and stopped producing the rest? I hate to say it, but if they decided to discontinue the production of Bran Flakes, I think I would be angry. That's sad to me.

(note: I just took a break to make-out with my lovely husband, it was delightful.)

So I just got a hair cut (thank you mother-in-law) for the first time this year. It's short once again and so light. So with new sensitivity towards my hair, as we were walking down the isle (of where, I have no clue - there are running together in my mind now) I noticed the brand new bottles for both Suave and Herbal Essence shampoos! There so beautiful & sleak, colorful & catching, I was a sucker. Not only for the new look for the the vast selections of smells and hair type specific shampoos available. Flat, curly, blonde, brown (did you know they have a shampoo out for only brunettes?), cucumber-melon, strawberry, spit-end, dry, oily - it's all there. In India, for the average citizen, there are a few selections of shampoos to choose from. Most in single use packets, few in bottles. But at the most, a selection of 5-8 would be average to choose from. And still I wonder the same of shampoos as I do of cereals. Is this all really necessary? If not, how disappointed would I be if they discontinued the cheap Lavender Suave I like and decided to only sell the $5.00 a bottle fancy Vidal Sassoon?

Ads, TVs, Cereals & Shampoos. I'm really being challenged since coming back to the States how much of what began to be second nature to me is really necessary in life. How much is luxury? How much is needed to truly live and love others through Christ? I'll attempt my best to taper down on these entries, I promise. In the meantime though, thank you for living through this transition with us. We appreciate it/you.

Homes.

This morning as I stood alongside the off-white kitchen counter at my new in-laws I glanced over at the refrigerator and began scanning what was posted, shared, written and appointmented. A minute into scanning I realized that I could read what was around me. I could understand what was being communicated. On this large white cold container, I could read what was being said! It has been so long since this was the case! I could understand the form of communication running back and forth between what was written, what my eyes were reading and what my mind was able to understand and comprehend.

Although it may seem that what impacted me the most through these few moments of realization was that I was not in a different country and could understand the language, what really impacted me the most during those moments was the realization that I was standing in front of arefrigerator, full of food, in a house, with a beautiful yard surrounded by blackberry bushes and green grass. Although like millions of Americans, a modest home full of love - I can't help but continue to struggle with the necessity of it all and how different this is from the reat of the world.

You see, this is a struggle I have been wrestling with for some time now. What is a "home"? What is necessary for a "home"? What makes a "home" comfortable? Why are "our" homes so much different than what a majority of the world considers a "home"?

Some may call these "cultural shock" questions I'm sure. But I must share with you, these are questions I have had for a number of years now. Through my transitions of sharing and outfitting an apartment in Fairfax to my time in Mission Year Chicago, up into this year of nothingness but the backpack on our backs; questions of what make a
"home" have continued to linger in our minds. All the while, hoping that God will remain faithful in teaching us and sharing with us what type of "home" He desires.

Does God desire a home with all the amenities that contribute to commercial convenience or would He rather live in a mud hut with only rugs to sit on and one gas stove burner to cook on like the nuns of Tattiwin, Morocco? Would He prefer a home filled with clothes and toys, furniture and space or would He rather "have" (if Jesus "had") three sets of clothing to wear like Mother Theresa, old boxes and tall trees to play in like the kids living on the streets of Delhi, dirt floors with worn in carpets to sit on like the tribal families of Northern Thailand, and a small space to share in the lives of others with like most comunities we have been fotunate enough to share time with?

I'm really struggling with this, because truly - I enjoy soft beds, comfortable couches to stretch out on, pools to swim in, computers to write on, ovens to bake
in, pantries to store food in, cold soy milk to drink each morning and green yards to dance in. And to be honest, I must confess, I am a bit nervous about posting this struggle of mine with fear of alienating and/or hurting those who have offered us thier home and these same very things each time we step into their homes. We are beyond grateful for what you have given, and continue to give to us all in the name of love. my intention is not to hurt you or sound ungrateful, but to ask of your forgiveness if I have offended you as I work and struggle with you through these questions and confusions of life.

I am sorry because I understand, I am here with you. I enjoy these same things, but a sense of "different" conviction is slowly making it's way into the core of my being and making me feel more uncomfortable as time progresses. So maybe it is cultural shock, but right now it feels like cultural conviction. Conviction of what is truly necessary in life to loving others and serving God.

Until I figure this out (yeah, right...)then I will continue practicing intentional thanks to God for being able to read what is posted, shared, written and appointmented on the refrigerator that holds and keeps cool the soy milk we drink each morning. Simply because it delights me and I believe this gratitude and joy pleases God as well.

For all of you who are faithful in checking our blog, we're sorry. We know, we have been quite lame in our attempts to up-date on a regular basis over the last month or so, we're sorry.

On that note though: because we now have the luxury of unlimited internet, we will be up-dating throughout this month on a regular basis. Updating you on how we're doing; sharing with you about places we went, people we met, etc. that we have not yet shared with you; amongst other things I'm sure + some additional photos.

For now, we're doing laundry, sorting through photos, accumulated junk and debris, and enjoying our time with friends and family. We're so grateful for this opportunity to do so.

In the meantime, we ask that you continue to think of us as we attempt to make more clear decisions and find a more concrete direction to head in after our time here in the States. Ugh - such changes.

Sorry we have been out of touch. Just no time to update, but no worries, we will be in the US soon... the land of unlimited internet and expensive mass-transit.

Tonight we take off from Bangkok to go enjoy a nice 12 hour lay-over in Korea. From Korea we hop the Pacific to LA where we have less time than we probably need to make the transition to a Southwest flight to Chicago.

Hope everyone is doing well, and we will post some pictures and further stories in a few days.

USA-bound Jake and Jess

shaping rice patties.
pruning orange trees.
picking weeds from ginger fields.
enduring the giggles of Burmese women.
drinking gallons of soy milk.
itching bug bites.
cussing at biting red ants.
laughing with each other without a common language.
delighting in the tastes of Lisu foods.
aching knees.
swollen fingers.
evenings in the hammock.
resting with one another.

jake calls it the farmers life.
i call it delight.

we forgot our camera today.
will up-date later with pictures.

tomorrow we are heading up to Nan.
the 26th we coming back to the States for 1 month.

with much love, gratitude and blessings of peace - thank you.

Burma, VISA, and Phantoms

Just by virtue of being and American citizen (and any one of 36 other nations) and walking through immigration in Thailand, you are granted, for free, a 30 day stay in Thailand. After that period of time you must either 1) leave the country 2) pay a ton of money and renew your VISA in the country or 3) make a run to a border, cross into another nation, and come back to receive a fresh, new 30 day VISA.

Well, option one was not going to work because Jess and I were not willing to leave yet. We still have a lot to do here. Second option was out because what is the point of paying a lot money to stay in a country when there is a third option to cross international borders for hours of fun? Obviously Jess and I chose to border hop, option number three.

But again, we are faced with a decision. There are many ways to border hop. Some take a bus to the border, some pay for a border-run service to drive them in a nice air conditioned van all the way to the border to do all of this without hassles. Well, Jess and I thought, what's the point of doing all that and not having some fun along the way.

Meet Mr. Phantom. Although the Honda Phantom is one of the biggest bikes Honda sells here, it is absolutely tiny by comparison to a typical Harley Davidson or other bike of similar design. The engine is only 200 c.c., which is about 1/8 the size of my car engine, and 1/4 the size of most "cruiser" style bikes today. But you know what? After 10 months of not driving or driving only 100 c.c. scooters, it felt pretty dang nice to drive something a little bigger.

So Jess and I suited up in helmets, goggles, long sleeve shirts, and lots of sunscreen for a 260 km (161 mile) one-way drive up North to the Golden Triangle to cross into Myanmar (Burma) for an afternoon and a new VISA upon our return to Thailand.

Well, we are alive and it worked, but not without the hitches that normally make average trips into giant-fish-stories. The way up we took the highway and it was uneventful, but the way back we took a long detour to go through the mountain roads and get off the main drags. There was one rain storm that drenched us, 5 or 6 sections of the high way had been covered in land slides or had washed away, we ran out of gas once (I had to switch to the emergency reserve in the tank), we drove through a dry lightening storm, and witnessed an amazing sunset.

Specs.

• 563 km total (349 miles)
• 17.5 liters of petrol (4.6 gallons)
• 32 km/liter (75.6 mpg)
• 14 hours total time
• 6 cartons of soy milk
• 2 sore butts
• 4 burned legs
• 1 case of reverse-motion sickness
  

All in all, it was pretty awesome, and we, though in pain today, consider our trip very worthwhile, and would contemplate doing it again... given a week or so off of our numb lower halves.

We are not certain of the existence of an internet connection where we are spending the next 2 weeks working on a farm. If you don't hear from us for a while, don't worry, we will be dirty and happy working in the fields.

Jess is kissing my neck, so I think it is time to go.

one knife

there is something about finding delight once again. i didn't realize how delightful life could be until i slowed down and began to understand and take notice of the surrounding life burying itself deep within my pores.

you see, we have one knife. in the mornings when we arise, we run to the local market for some calcium enriched soy milk, make our way back to the room, wash some mangoes, rambutan, lychee and oranges. we sit together outside on our porch. while one peels and cuts the mangoes the other sits, waits, laughs and enjoys. the one holding the knife who has committed themselves to mango mutilation pokes piece by piece and we feed eachother. i know that sounds silly, but i wonder what life would be like if we had two knives and were able to peel, cut and eat our mangoes independently.

after five months of hibernation we brought out our mini-ipod that my dad gave us as a going away gift (a free promo gift he received from krogers). yesterday we laid in bed together, listening to damien jurado, love drug, U2, neutral milk hotel, etc. together. with one ear phone in my left ear and the other in his left we shared our afternoon together, sang together, danced together (although this took some tricky agility) and smiled. i wonder what life would have been like yesterday afternoon if we had a t.v. to watch or even two ipods to listen to.

we have one small room that is matted with tiles from ceiling to floor. much different from a "western" bathroom, everything is open. there are no walls or curtains to separate the toilet from the sink or the shower. all is open. well, the lice are still taking up residence in my (now blond - different story) hair. truth be told, i let it go for too long without maintenance and the babies got bigger and the bigger laid eggs and the eggs became babies and the cycle continued. well, three nights ago as i was taking a shower i decided something needed to be done about it. at that time jake came in and i shared with him my bug issues. together, no separated by walls or curtains we pulled out our only comb and began the process. i then took the lice killer comb and followed his tracks picking those heathens out one by one. with two combs we stood in our open bathroom for an hour picking bugs out of my hair and being amazed at how many and how big they are. i wonder how that night would have been had we had walls and curtains to separate us from what we were doing/trying to do.

most days we are without an engine-run mode of transportation (unlike today we which rented a 125 honda and toke a ride up into the mountains to hike throughout the waterfalls, yeah.) therefore, our primary way of going from one place to another is on foot. the days when we rent a bike there is always a part of me that misses walking. passing by hundreds of food and junk carts at a time with jake's right index finder interlaced in my left hand pinkie. we talk (with feeble results) with various vendors, pet hedgehogs and rabbits, play with little children and discover spider-webs and flowers. i sometimes wonder what life would be like if we had a car to take us everywhere we thought we wanted to go and missed all the discoveries woven throughout the side streets, alleys and people along the way.

we have one knife right now. it brings me delight.

Northern Thailand Travels
Mae Salong, a small village found in the northern providence of Chaing Rai. What you see here is what you get: mountains, a one road small town founded by the Chinese in the 60's after they were thrown out of Burma after fleeing China. A small town primarily founded on opium trade, it wasn't until the mid-80's that Thailand began to recognize it as it's own city and began to invest in it by providing alternative sources of income, bringing in tourism among many other hosts of things. I on the other hand, hope that things never change - it's breathtaking.

So, for part of our tri pwe rented a Honda Wave 100 to cruise along the hills of Northern Thailand (and cruising was exactly what we did with both laughter and tears - from both ourselves and the engine). With a much needed road-side stop (for our butts as well as our engine) I accidently ran through a bush of thorns with my feet and found no less than 50 thorms stuck in, through and between my toes... it hurt like a mother.

Our Honda Wave 100 after one of it's feats of climbing up and down muddy hills while towing aprox. 300 lbs. of weight on it's back.

Although it may look super-imposed, the green was just as green pictured here as it was in person...

One of our night drives together...

Our way "home" the next morning as the dew was rising, the clouds were begining their dance to the heavens and the roads were carrying us away.

And then there was the Sunday night market. With this just ebing one of many roads, alley's and side streets filled with entertainment, music, food, crafts, pictures and the list could go on and on - our night last night was one of walking, laughing, eatting and being amazed at how such a simple town can turn into a fancy night festival once every week.

Chaing Mai at a glance...

Our first morning in Chaing Mai we were walking around trying to find a cheap nice place to stay during our time here and low and behold, we ran into a parade of ants carrying their manna for the next month... this was our second scorpion sighting to soon be followed by our most recent cobra sighting (which we did not capture on camera p.s.)

And then there was Bud's... our little treat for ourselves... branched out of San Fransciso Bud's has taken on the hearts of many in Chaing Mai, including Jake and I. What cannot be fixed with a hot chocolate sundae and a green tea/strawberry ice cream taco... delight.


Our view from our fourth floor suite. Some may call it a one room shack. But to us, it's perfect. With a view like this, how can it not be.


So, for the past week Jake and I have spent our time traveling with Derek and Niti around Northern Thailand, spending a majority of our time with Niti's immediate and extended family (all of the Akha tribe). Although we enjoy shopping for our food, even more so we have learned to enjoy hunting and gathering for our food. Although we were treated as honored guests during our entire time, there is something contagious about gathering up leaves, mushrooms, fruits and vegetables as we walked the hills. There is something freeing and tenacious about searching out for worms, stringing them and going after fish with a stick. On a side note though - Jake and I are rookies. By the end of our time, we hadn't independtly caught any fish, I found one mushroom and while Jake did our laundry one evening I went out and had a lesson on gathering leaves and herbs (which I could barely identify on my own by the end of my lesson). This picture is of Niti's mom, being the pro that she is.

It's been awhile...

So I thought I would take this opportunity to share with you a couple of things I've/We've been struggling though over this past week.

Thailand (Chaing Mai) is beautiful, convienent, conventional and simply refreshing. It's not India. It's not Morocco. It's different.

To say that there are no poor people here is a statement I would like to make after four days of being here and not being hit-up by any beggers or seeing men, women and children sleep out in the streets, sidewalks and parks. Yet, that statement is not necessarily all true. After talking to a local social worker and some friends of ours who grew up here/live here, my assumptions though have proven to be pretty much substantiated.

There are those here who live in "poor" conditions, but to live on the street in a "destitute" poverty is an unknown, unseen. There is not "hunger" here as we experienced in India or Morocco. It was shared with us that is beacause Thailand is fertile ground, filled with fruits and vegetables, pulses and livestock. No one goes hungary. The government is run "well," in that medical needs are cared for, kids go to school, most adults are self-employed/employed by bigger business. It's an overall "functioning" community.

People are kind to us here. Six days in and we have not yet been laughed at, yelled at (well, except for this crazy lady in the night market who screeched at us when we walked away from her table uninterested in her products), made fun of, harassed, mocked, etc. In fact, I didn't even know (after nine months over-seas) how much we were yelled/laughed at, made fun of, harassed, mocked, etc. until all of those daily moments we had become accustomed to had disappeared. People are nice here, like really really nice.

There is fresh air here. It's clean, there aren't piles of trash to step through, urine on the sidewalks to step over (many men in India have not yet mastered the use of a private urinal stall yet and prefer to ofter relieve themselves on the side of the roads, sidewalks, etc. - which I guess there is a reason for when many of the men who do so often don't have toilets at their disposal to use), pollution in the air to clog your nose, lungs, ears and eyes with. It's so beautiful... so very beautiful...

This is where my heart and mind gets confused. I want to be here. I like it here. It's exotic and different while still being familiar and comfortable. It's not India. It's not Morocco. Yet, I love India. I love Morocco. When I think of the experiences I had there I often cannot help but praise God for the mercy he has given us to have been able to live and learn from our neighbors and friends there. And in the midst of looking back at all of the obstacles we encountered while there, I still have nothing short of fond, beautiful, stretching, exciting, joyful memories of our time there. I think there's something to this, for God says that when we choose to enter into "suffering with others" we choose to enter into life and love with him, inside his skin. There is a reason our times in India and Morocco are rembered in our hearts and minds the way they are.

So why do I want to stay here so much? And why do I struggle with wanting to stay here so much? I don't want to cheat God by remaining in a place where we want to be rather than in a place where He may want us to be (although we have no clue where that is right now). We're struggling... Yet, there is a part of me that rejoices in the struggle in order to learn and grow closer in my relationship with my first love as well as with Jake.

I'm kind of at a loss right now I guess you could say.

On that note: We're looking for employment here. We are feeling as though we may need a fiscal year as well as a year of rest and routine. It's a fertile place for Jake to get an English teaching job, yet for a number of reasons, we are running into a couple obstacles, still they are not all set in stone. Please pray for us. A simple request from a simple heart.

Know in the meantime though that we just paid for our first "apartment." It's a one room hotel that has a king sized bed and a balacony that looks out over the beautiful mountains and city of Chaing Mai.

This morning we got up with the sun and ate oranges, mangosteins and peanut butter and jelly snadwiches in bed looking out over the balcony.

Thanks for your love.