Tonight, for the second time, a local woman who lives in the surrounding slum told me that I am very good with her kids. Nice. Yet, she goes on to share that she has no money to care for herself, let alone her kids and that I should take her two oldest (Selma & Roxanna) with me when I leave.
Right in front of both Slema & Roxanna she tells me this, for the second time. Both times I play it off as though she were joking. I don't know how much longer I can do that without screaming.
I've been taking bages of carrots and sometimes cookies or chipiti's (a flat bread) to their home when they are away. Often I go over and see their mom eatting and not them, maybe I'm just stopping over at the wrong times. I hope they get this food before their mom does though. I think sometimes they do, Roxanna was eatting a clean carrot this afternoon.
The other day when I stopped by Selma was complaining of a stomach ache while her mom was hitting her with her flip-flop. I did an intervention of sorts to stop the hitting and asked her mom why she was hitting her. She said that she caught Selma peeling off the top layel of their manure based floor and was eatting it. I guess the flip-flop hitting was a punishment of sorts. Wouldn't the horrible stomach ache be enough?
What can I do?
Why do I have such non-loving thoughts toward Selma & Roxanna's mom?
Is she not a child of God as well?
Why is it increasingly difficult to find beauty in her although the color of her eyes are brillant green?
Why am I such a jerk?
2 comments:
You are most certainly not a jerk -you a human who hates to see other humans suffering. But you are right God does love their mother. Why she does what she does? There could be any number of reasons, but that doesn't help the girls. At least they are experiencing love from you. I know that just doesn't seem like enough does it. BUT God loves Selma and Roxanna more than you do and HIS heart breaks because of their suffering. What to do what to do? Keep doing what you are doing. You are such an example of what God wants us doing...loving despite the many costs. Jessica, I'm so honored to call you friend. Thanks for blessing my life in so many ways! Love ya, Robin
God created you in His image! God is not a jerk and neither are you. He created you with all the feelings and emotions He has. He wants you to use all of those created parts to be a part of His kingdom. You do realize that where you are at is part of His kingdom as well. His work is not important - it's urgent!
Indian Lake Papa
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